Healing of Memories Part 1

 We need to forgive ourselves and those who have hurt us in order to move on. I am not yet ready to forgive Njandini aka Fakazile, I am starting small. Baby steps people. 

Early 2000s at Scottburgh Beach. We were unemployed graduates, harvesting beans and amadumbe at home. My sister @ka_tiyoni would drive mommy to work and I would tag along, just for some fresh air nyana.
The person I was dating had a job(still has a job) and would spoil me with gifts and money to do hair (girlfriend allowance).
He had asked me to choose between a new phone and having my Phillips 3 CD changer sound system repaired for my 22nd birthday. I chose the sound system. I used to love music y'all!

So a few months after fixing the sound system he surprised me with a Nokia 3330 phone at Wimpy in Scottburgh. A date which Jules gate crashed 😂

I was confident enough in that relationship to draw a heart on the beach sand, write his name on it and have my sister snap this pic. Something I could never do again. The harder you love, the harder you will fall when it all comes crashing down. (I am focusing on the things he did right though, on this post.) FYI, To this day, I don't mess with beans. I have planted a 'football field' of amadumbe and getting ready to harvest but beans... Oh hell no!
The best thing I did for myself was to not document my feelings when I was struggling to find a job all those years ago.
I had started journaling in the 10th grade and my mother felt entitled to read my diaries and would occasionally confront me about the contents of my very personal and private journals.
I suppose this is one of the reasons I now publish my diary as a blog.
🤷 #memories #oldpics #deardiary #blogger #girlfriendallowance #cleaningoutmycloset #healing