After years of learned self-loathing I can safely say that I am no longer on the hatred side of the spectrum. You see, when all you hear from your family, school teachers, school mates and random strangers is negative talk about your body, it's difficult to go against it.
I remember dreaming about cutting off my inner thighs when I was younger because, not only was the chafing bad and painful but I had to walk in such a way that I minimize friction, i.e. Take very small steps. Little did I know that I had become the standard/unit measure for how far apart kids should plant beans. They were very observant, I'll give them that.
A lot of people wish to have a thigh gap, so they could look nice in swimwear, my dream was to have a normal person's stride.
Coming back to my point : I might never reach a point where I am taking photos (nevermind posting them) of myself in underwear, fatkinis or even exercise gear but in the ways that are within reach I show myself love and compassion.
At my previous job, I got accused a lot of loving myself too much. The irony is that I feel like I don't love myself enough.
Mine is a journey in all fronts. Holistically. Body, mind, spirit... I am not so narcissistic and shallow to constantly obsess about my looks but hey that's where I am at with it.
#bopo #bodypositive #plussize #fat #growing #learning #healing #healthy #loving
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